Recovery!

Oh my....Can you ever recover after a move?

I must say, "I hate, loathe , dispise, extremely dislike all aspects of moving! Yet, as I laid down for a quick nap to recover and woke at 1:30 am .....

I am filled with peace that this was a great move not only for a new place but for me on that personal level too!

I have one more load at the other place and then I am done! YAHOO!

What can I say...3 flights of stairs are a killer and I had other choice words to express it yesterday as every muscle, bone and joint, in my body was telling me HELP!!! or really something else but lets not go there!!! I am not 20, or 30 even 40 anymore, and my body feels it! Man, that sucks to realize that!

The pets are adjusting. and boxes fill the kitchen, Seth is crashed out on the couch, sleeping, and I am writing you...YOU. about my MOVE... As I sit here at 2:55am in the morning watching decorating on the tv, and typing to you, I am fill with more gratefulness, than my dislikes-as my bones ache, muscles are crying in pain, head hurts, but I am grateful an a very blessed woman...

So with that said, maybe my loathing moves, or the process there of, is all part of that process of recovery...and that is a Good thing!

OH God where is the coffee!!!!

Moving...New Change!

Moving DAY is Saturday! Wow!

This has come up quick all the last minute details are unfolding today and tomorrow and then WE

work our butts off to get moved....

well, I did break down and get some movers, but Seth (son) and I will pack and move, clean all the other stuff AS well AS, unpack. I get tired just thinking about it AND WALKING up 3 flights of stairs! One thing positive about that is that i will have great legs and butt!

How many of you would say that you love to move?

I must confess that it isn't my favoriate thing , I have found that I have moved so many times over the years that I can't count it now... and more than I would like to admit to you all. Well, from New Jersey to Texas just once so that is good news and this will be my second in Texas. Little tidbit there!

But again, it is what it is! I here again am moving for a smaller, cheaper place, and a new change! I have great expectations that the job will come as well as the other details of getting a car. But first things first....the move!

Tell me do you clean out the old at each move you make, and throw it out?

I tend to try as, why not start fresh....?

but over the years all my old is really gone, and I have started fresh....

Maybe this is the time to start really fresh not only with old stuff but spiritually.

Refreshed start with God and a new place...be the ME that I was designed to be without all the old stuff in the way.....

Food for thought!

As I get ready.... for all of this, nothing is packed, the boxes don't come till tomorrow, and here I am typing to you all, chilling before the change. I would love to say that this would be my last move, and I have found that soulmate of my dreams...and we are going to live happier ever after. but that isn't the truth right now.

More I think about it, less is more ...or less to move anyway. Deep desires and dreams will have to wait and reality has set in....

I better get to moving!

Saturday, I will have a glass of wine after I am in the new place!

So until then cheers!!!!

In a Photo!

With Thanksgiving around the corner,
I seem to think of family and memories of Thanksgiving pasted. This year is a bit different, as I will go to OKC to see mom, Mamadee and Daddybob, I have come to realize, just how time has flown by......they are getting older and now really looking older. It is so important to store the memories through pictures.

I found some pictures of the kids during the holidays and isn't it funny, how time really never seemed to of passed, when you are looking at a photo. I mean, I feel as if I jumped back in time, to the age the pictures was taken, and remember everything I can about that time, yet I know that the boys are years older now...

however...

for that moment, I am back in time, seeing and hearing the world around, in the mind of my memories. How can one grasp the fact, that time runs quickly by, and we need to make as many memories as we can right at this moment!

I found another photo of Grandma and Granddad Evans, they are no longer here, but I can still look at the picture, and hear the sounds of their voice. I can hear Grandma calling Granddad..."Allen", she would say, and him sitting at the table stirring his coffee. I can see the heater all lit up and laying on the couch looking in the kitchen, pretending to not be awake, to hear what they had to say as they quietly stir in the kitchen.
I think now, if only I could have had more time with them yet, the memories are good of what I do have.

Memories of that old farmhouse have never left me, and I could draw you a picture of each and every room filling it with what I remember. Not that it was a house filled with fancy treasures, but it was a home filled with love, warmth, and you loved going there.

I even remember a time, that I was in the tub, and I heard Santa Claus say, "HO HO"! I couldn't get dressed quick enough…ran in and there was a doll and trunk filled with these beautiful clothes. I was told later, that grandma made all the dolls clothes…and I remember going to sleep upstairs by the stairway, and looking at my doll.

There were two rooms upstairs and one was my Aunt Marylou’s room with a closet that I thought was filled with puffy dresses! I loved to play in there… Oh, but that was a secret!
Let me not forget the bathroom off the kitchen with the daddy long leg spiders ….so scary for a young girl to have to use! Granddad would bring me these jumping beans and I would sit and watch them for what seemed to be hours and hours…

Grandma was so fun and full of life, and I learned so much when she was around crocheting, knitting, cooking. I can still see Granddad's smile and hear Grandma's voice calling my name now as I type…. and I just get all warm inside. I see Granddad making his jewelry or a fish lure or showing it to us as we were young.
Awe...then there was a black bowl with the pears in it by the phone in the kitchen. I will never forget how wonderful they smelled, or the fresh bread sitting on the cabinet. I remember.. the swing that I had on the tree, and how I would get to play on a table outside making my mud pies. Boy, those were the days, when we could just be in the fresh air, dream with our imagination, and be in your own little world.

I was so excited when Grandma would take me into town, and we would go to the drugstore for a chocolate coke, mom would get vanilla...Grandma was so proud, and would tell others, "these are my grandkids from TEXAS" I would hear her say, as if that was a big deal... BUT, it really was for her and her friends, to see us visiting.
Boy, I do miss them, and every now and then during the holidays, I remember.
Even through a simple little photo…I do remember!

So with Thanksgiving around the corner, this year make some memories for the child coming to see Grandma, or maybe just the child in you! Take a photo!

Adorable!

...as my granddaughters are getting bigger.

I am just in 'AWE' of them!

I just adore them totally!

They are just adorable and soooo cute!!! There is nothing that I don't love about them... They are a great delight, and one that once they come, over I am beaming like a Christmas Tree with smiles!

This is going to be a great holiday season with them, and sharing what the holidays really mean....

L O V E! Family! Relationships...

I just can't get enough of them!

As I spent sometime with Addison on Monday I see how fast she is growing up. I have this yearning to slow her down...

lets just back up for a year or two...

as I am not ready for her to grow up.

Yet, as she talks to me....

I know that she is so much smarter than I ever was at her age, and I know that she will grow up.

I told her I love her all way to heaven and back, and she told me that she loves me all the way to East Texas and Heaven and back...

NOW that is LOVE!!!

River of Glory
Yes, that is where I went to Church today!
Funny thing .... that I would go to lunch (when I was among the employed) and sit in this churches parking lot and pray, listen to music and sit till it was time to go back to work. I did this for months, spending my lunch time in this parking lot everyday..yet never going in, and there were times when I wanted to just go in and see if I could get someone to pray with me. BUT I never did. Why? You may ask...good question! I don't know! I just never did...yet, I would tell myself someday I am going to come and visit this church.
So guess what? Today was that day!
Thank you Robert for your suggestion!
Wasn't the one that I had thought of to visit but the one that was chosen!
I am so glad! Great music...great word and loved the guy that preached today! He may be a youth pastor but what an anointing to preach a real honest word from the Lord!

so much

Better than the Cafe' Church visited the weekend before...sorry Lord! BUT I still can't believe the hype of that other church..but it is what it is! Bless them and move on!

I have even send in a pray request and for me that is a big deal to trust again ..oh amazing that was the last part of the message trust issues..mmmm...trust! I am sure this blog isn't finished and I am sure that whatever it is that God is working on with me will be continued. However, today I humbly come to the throne of grace...and I ask whatever you are doing Lord, I am here and I am not going to move this time! I am going to listen..and wait..for as long as I have to for you to come and talk to me...I need to hear a word from you! I am waiting!

I will go back to this church again! :)

Getting Real

There are times that I wonder and have thought about what getting real really means. Well maybe looking at the defination of REAL would be a start....

1 : of or relating to fixed, permanent, or immovable things (as lands or tenements)
2 a : not artificial, fraudulent, or illusory : genuine ; also : being precisely what the name implies b (1) : occurring or existing in actuality (2) : of or relating to practical or everyday concerns or activities (3) : existing as a physical entity and having properties that deviate from an ideal, law, or standard — compare ideal 3b c : having objective independent existence d : fundamental, essential e (1) : belonging to or having elements or components that belong to the set of real numbers (2) : concerned with or containing real numbers (3) : real-valued f : measured by purchasing power g : complete, utter
3 of a particle : capable of being detected — compare virtual 3

— re·al·ness noun

— for real 1 : in earnest : seriously
2 : genuine
3 : genuinely good or capable of success (as in competition)

Okay with this stated then lets look at getting seriously genuine.... I like that thought and it is time isn't it to be seriously genuine REAL with yourself and with God! I am ready to let it all go now. What do I have to lose in any of this....I only have him to trust now. Or should I say AGIAN I have only him to trust? After all the years of running where did it let me back to but the feet of Jesus and his face. Again Lord all I can ask is for forgiveness for not trusting that you are the one that can only supply all my needs. You are the only one that can show me true love, happiness and fullness of life. Why Lord do I miss trust YOU of all. Why do I run? Why do I come back?
Let this be a time of getting REAL seriously genuine before you...and never running again! So night as I think on all that you have done for me I am getting really genuine and serious before you ...renew me and I know how you love me and let me never forget YOUR love most of all.

House with no LOVE....

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I have been on a trip …and how would I begin to tell you how my heart grieved upon seeing this for myself. Have you ever gone into a home where a family lives and yet it is stripped of love? Not to say that they don’t love each other …this is different there is no feeling of love in the home at all. Okay, you wonder what in the world are you talking about….You know we do have a spiritual side of life whether we want to believe it or not. I will tell you that spiritually the love within this home isn’t there. Yes, there has been a divorce and yet they are still a unit with the mom living in the home but in the basement. This is large home and I will tell you everyone would have their own space and living downstairs is just as nice as upstairs, of this 7 bedroom 6 bath home. Yet, the feeling of the lack of love is gone and there is a grieving that I felt the whole time I was there. I was praying one night and asked, “Lord, there is such a sadness within this home”…you know it doesn’t matter how much money you make, how big the house is, how beautifully decorated it is…a house without love is just that…empty. No warmth, comfort, joy, .and where is God in all of this? I had many questions and came with I would rather have nothing and love than everything and no love. Easier said that lived right? I do believe that it is the woman of the home that sets the mood, order, warmth, love of the home. Yet with today and both parents working it is difficult just to keep everything organized and flowing….yet, I see that even my son has the love in his home. Which by the way is an apartment as I have…There is great love and laughter…you enjoy being there and you love your visit. I on the other hand will say that I believe that I need to work on my home and the love within it. I know how to create the love, warmth and have it where people love to visit and stay. Can I tell you that as a couple the best things that you can do for each other is to love each other unconditionally….Really! Have a plan for grace, forgiveness and work on it. By the way, it is work…anything worth it is. I pray for this family and what is about to happen in their lives and I pray that much grace be given…Lord, I ask that you open your hands and loving arms and surround these beautiful children, mom and dad. I ask for restoration from within and that your love would fall on them, heal them, save them. Jesus Name! Amen!

Birthday today!!!

Don't you just love the Birthdays? As I get older I have learned that this is going to be the best year ever!!! So I say this again, "This is going to be the BEST year ever! YOU know I believe it! I know it and I can't wait to see how it unfolds! I had a great dinner last night and I am so excited about the future!

Good things are on the way...

You know this week hasn't been the easiest but ...the ending was wonderful! So for now...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! And may there be many more wonderful Birthdays.... I enjoyed last night!....
Not finished with this one....

Cool chill in the air...

I love wearing summer clothes and the easy of my attire...however, there is something about the cooler weather that just gives you that jump start in the morning. Your walk is more brisk, you seem to have a smile, you are not sweating as you around the corner of your daily walk like in the warm summer days.

I must admit that fall may well be upon us whether I am ready or not!

This morning, I have this awarness that there is really change in the air, not only for the seasonal change, but on a more personal level as well. With the knowledge of that awarness comes great excitement for what is just around the corner, and a little saddeness for what is being left behind. I have wondered why a saddeness and excitement, but maybe that is the part of really letting go. My devotional today really nailed it....

and wow

how it was nailed - alreadying thinking about this prior to reading it. God you are so good...


http://Forget What Lies Behind

TODAY'S SCRIPTURE
"…but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,"
(Philippians 3:13, NLT)

TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria
Are you focused on forgetting what lies behind? I know many people don't fully understand what it means to forget the past. They wonder, "How can I forget something that's happened to me?" But one definition of the word forget means to disregard intentionally or to overlook. You have to intentionally disregard your past so that it doesn't keep you from moving forward. That means the good and the bad. Sometimes our past victories keep us from rising higher as much as past failures. If we don't let go of the old, we'll never be able to embrace the new.
It doesn't matter what's happened in your history, it's time to forget what lies behind. Make the choice today to press forward. Trust that God has a better future in store for you. Trust that He's working behind the scenes on your behalf. As you press forward, you will move forward, and you will embrace the life of victory God has in store for you.

A PRAYER FOR TODAY
"Father in heaven, I choose to forget the past today. I don't want anything to hold me back from the future You have prepared for me. I choose forgiveness and ask that You help me by Your Spirit to press forward in every area of my life. In Jesus' Name. Amen"

Just thoughts..

Just went to see Julie Julia today about a girl that blog for 365 of cooking receipes of Julia Childs cookbook! LOVED the MOVIE!!! Even got a little teary eyed at the end! And it got me to thinking ...what is it that I need to blog about! I could blog about how to get a man in 365 days at the age of 52, or Love in 365 days, Finding your Soul Mate at the age of 52? Okay, the title needs work but the thought is there! I am going to work on this as this is something that trigger my creative mind into thinking. Julie did it with a cookbook, yes, of course it was someone who was famous for her french cooking. And what if I could write about love in the same way or the same passion as she did with the cooking. I am going to really think about this and could use all suggestions! YOU may be asking why love, why a man, why why why? Well, because that I what I desire to really find that Soul Mate to live the rest of my life with. I believe that these are the best years as we are wiser, older, and usually know by now how to please each other. We know what we want not that we are going to get it but what if? What if we could have it all....the love of our life at the age of 52.
This will be continued! Lets work on a title!!!

He is calling my name again!

I woke to my name being called..

I have heard this voice!

I know who it is!

However, today there is such clarity in hearing my name.

Hmmm... as I get up to hear again my thoughts are, what is it Lord?

I must say, that I love to hear my name being called, as I feel so loved when I hear HIS voice. I know that HE is thinking of me, and all I want to do is get into HIS presence and sit awhile. I want to just listen to what HE has to say.....I fall to my knees at times when I hear HIM calling, and I confess how I haven't spent enough time with HIM. I so desire to sit with HIM awhile, reflect on what needs to be seen and heard and even corrected.

Lord, why do we make it so hard to be with you? Are we afraid that you will tell us what we are doing wrong? Are we ashamed? Are we fearful? Or do we just not believe? Do we lack Faith?

I love to spend time with you and Lord, I want to be honest with you ...you know, have those heart to heart moments that keep me in check.

Yet, there are times that I honesty don't want to hear it or listen to what you might say. As I am afraid of what you have to say and what I might have to do.

YET...

You cover me so gently, Lord. So at this moment, I ask you to take me Lord, mold me, lead me, show me your plan. I want to know that you can hear me when I talk to you. Fill me with your peace, as only you can! Lord, thank you for calling my name! I do want to let go and let you work in me and through me.

You call me by my name.... and I all I can do is smile!

Refreshed!

Refreshed!
Woke to my dog, "Sir Winston" circling the bed needing to go outside...BUT at 4:00am? As I arose to the occasion, stumbling down the stairs to opening the front door letting both dogs out...I noticed how unusually warm it was outside. Oh Lord, it is only 4:00am, what does that mean for the rest of the day? I still do not like the hot, sticky days of Texas weather but that is life and I have to deal with it.

I have made it to Wednesday and the interview is at 10:00-as I pray for favor with this interview, I have this new sense of hope come alive within me when I think of the possibilities. This could be good and long overdue if I say so the job opportunity that is... The commute will be a pain but I think about getting the job first. Actually, just getting back into the workforce is a longing desire that is needed for my own sanity.

I had this thought or to state correctly a question? What refreshes you? For me I love to get that first word from my devotional. I love what Joel Osteen had to say this morning and thought I would share it. It seems so fitting with the interview coming up this morning! I feel so REFRESHED now to press on! Have a wonderful day! I will let you know the outcome!

"…Lift up now your eyes and look from the place where you are, northward and southward and eastward and westward;"(Genesis 13:14, AMP)

TODAY'S WORD from Joel and Victoria
God has a place of victory in store for you today! You may be facing challenges. You may look around you and see impossible circumstances. In the natural, it may look like things won’t ever change, but God is saying today, “Quit looking at your circumstances and look up! Lift up your eyes of faith and look beyond where you are because there is victory as far as the eye can see!Your enemies may have some power today, but remember, our God is All Powerful! There’s no foe that can stand against Him. Those things you are facing are temporary, but God Almighty is eternal. He’s the God who flung the stars into space. He’s the God who spoke the world into existence. When He said, “Let there be light,” light came at 186,000 miles per second. That’s power and that’s the God we serve.
I encourage you to stand strong today. Keep believing because He is working behind the scenes on your behalf. As you lift your eyes to Him, as you focus on His goodness, He will guide you and direct you in the path of victory in every area of your life!

A PRAYER FOR TODAYHeavenly Father, today I choose to lift up my eyes of faith toward You. Thank You for surrounding me with Your goodness and mercy. Thank You for believing in me and for preparing a good future for me. Fill my heart with Your peace and confidence as I continue to trust You in every area of my life. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Sunday

Image via Wikipedia

It has been awhile since I blogged and I hope to get to this again soon. However, this is going to be a day to get the laundry caught up and apt. refreshed. I will talk to ya tomorrow!!!

Tuesday July 7, 2009

"A writer is dear and necessary to us only in the measure in which she reveals to us the inner workings of her soul."
~ Leo Tolstoy ~ (Windows of my soul blog)

I love this quote....reminds me to stories that I have read that, right at the beginning I was captured with the words that were penned from the heart. Words that would bring laugher or tears even fear...

It amazes me that our, "Words" have such power. Yet, if you think about it God did speak words to create the world.

Tuesday 30, 2009

Have you woke to one of those morning where you have to take a step back and say hold on! Let me get with you Lord, before we go one step futher...
As you ask for him to ordain your day, and each and every step you take from that moment on, you have a peace that comes over you, with some clarity. Okay, now it is time to make that step out of bed, and on to the kitchen for the next step of the day!

Coffee!

Please Lord, let me have coffee!

Yes, there is coffee, sugar and milk! Everything is running out or low and you just need to make it through today.

I know you have all been there. Right?

Actually, should I back up and give you the real lowdown on how my morning really started? Here goes...

Tuesday Morning...

Woke to Winston (my Yorkie) jumping all over me trying to wake me up for his usual morning outing.

Oh,

how I did not want to get up so early! As I am laying here in bed thinking of all I need to get done today, my bladder tell me that I need to get up and quickly-so here I go running into the bathroom,-I continue my list of things that need to be done for the morning in my head.

Coffee is the number one thing on my list....

Please Lord; let me have coffee with milk and sugar! Please!

It is terrible when you need to go to the store and do not have the money until payday.

Actually, that check was already spent Debbie remember? RENT!

What are you going to do; as you are short...it is either you pay the bills that are going to be cut off or you pay rent.

Tell ME.... you have been here or are here, that it isn't just me going through this...Please!

Awe ...the stress of it!

Okay Debbie, just breath...one thing at a time!

First, you need to have coffee then you can think.

As I stumble into the kitchen to make the coffee, I notice that I am not able to get online...
Oh, has that cable company turned me off.? Oh No!...after I had arranged with them to be paid on the first! What part of the first do they not understand? Get your facts first...

COFFEE!

Get the Coffee...do not vent yet until you are fully awake and coherent.

What good does it do to make arrangements when they turn you off the day before?

You are venting!

COFFEE!

Ok enough, I will deal with that one at 8:00am -10 more minutes!

Coffee....aha!

Sanity!

Whatever sanity one can have for the moment!

Two cups down third on the way, now calling the cable company...

Great, I am up and running! My daily routine is looking and applying for jobs I have to keep it going. So important to get it done early in the morning.

As I grab the strawberries out of the fridge for breakfast..

my thoughts race to what I should have done before getting out of bed....

As it looks like it could be one of those days...Lord help me!

"For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not ot harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11)

Sunday, June 28, 2009 5:53am

When I go to see my dad and mom Sharon in East Texas, I love to visit their church. It is small in comparison to the churches we have here in the Plano area however; it is a church with a BIG HEART. The congreration is made up of those that live in the area, which most are retirees. They have a young youth pastor and the day that I was there, he was leading the beginning of the service for the graduates. He spoke to hold on to the Lord and your beliefs as you go off to college or your life’s journey. There was a great emotion of love being poured out with the passion of his message to these students getting ready to make life’s journey.
A little after this the Senior Pastor was speaking, there was an elder man to my right that had passed out and immediately the medics were called, and as we waited for their arrival… My thoughts raced to the message from the youth pastor to the students, spoken just seconds before hand, the student got a real life visual of how precious life is and quick it could have ended. I think the message was hitting home in more ways than expected. I will never forget it, as I not only heard it but actually saw how in an instant it can change….
Today as you get ready to go to church or even if you do not attend church, my question to you today is, what are you holding on to or trusting in? Have you let go of the Lord and your beliefs? Are you holding steadfast to the one that loves you unconditionally?
I look forward to going back and visiting the little church and to hear another life impact message from the Lord…Have a wonderful Sunday, and know that you are truly love! Blessings!

I am listening to music and thought what a wonderful day I have had and just how blessed I truly am. I love life and those that are in my life now. I have grown so much over the last couple of years in ways I don't understand yet, I know that I am not the same....I am better! I seem to love more, enjoy more, and laugh more! I mean how could you not smile at some beautiful big blue eyes calling you, grandma!

I am so blessed, and as I think about all I have, I have to say, "Lord, thank you! Just for this moment right now"! And to think about how you have poured your love over me...and allowed me to see what truly is important in life...relationships!!!

Image via Wikipedia

I am going outside and hitting the pool! So hot here in Texas today! I need a lazy river! LOL!

Saturday's

I love Saturdays...it is a day that you can just get caught up on stuff or sleep in. Actually it would be a great Saturday if I had the money to go shopping. What is it about shopping that we women enjoy so much? I love getting something new whether it is for me or someone else...don't you? I love Saturdays and having that first cup of coffee knowing that I don't have to be anywhere if I don't want to. It is like I am giving myself permission to do nothing! AHA! I just had a moment of freedom! Tell me what Saturday is to you, I would love to hear!