I feel as if I am a the most blessed mom to have had, two great boys born in the same month. My youngest was 24, on the 4th of February, and my oldest will turn 30. on the 26th of February.

As I was writing about my oldest birth, I realized that both of these births were so different. Oh let me tell you, I had great deliveries…I have nothing to complain about on that end. Interesting thing is that on bring both of the boy’s home that it snowed. So 6 years later after Sean, bring Seth home it snowed the day he came home too….
BUT the births were completely different...as the boys are very different in personality, strengths, and gifts.

Since Seth just had his birthday and I was in Colorado I thought that I would start with him. As with all my children I had a doctor’s appointment the day of delivery and when the doctor told me that I was dilated with Seth. I told him that I would see him that evening. You just know….and it worked for me every time. We decided to take the other two kids Stephanie, and Sean to out to eat knowing that I would be in the hospital that night. When we started dinner my labor pains were 10 minutes apart and upon leaving they were 4 minutes apart. Well…with the third child you should have plenty of time to get to the hospital right?
YES, and with delivering the kids (Stephanie and Sean) to the grandparents we then rushed to the hospital.

Now with Seth I was dilated to 7.5 cmm upon arriving to the hospital and just in time for an epidural to which I asked for. I had heard that it was heaven and I wanted to experience heaven for this delivery. Yet it did delay my delivery about an 1 hour in total…I know! I will never complain about my great deliveries. Seth was born and was his dad’s first son so he was a proud dad. Scooping Seth up and out the door to show everyone that was waiting in the waiting room. Seth was a beautiful baby and all he would do as he grew was smile….My smiling boy, and there are times that I pray that –that smiling boy would come back. Seth is now 24 and out of the Army…I am so proud of him and I know that he will do great once he figures out what he needs to do. I pray for him daily as he has been staying here with me and helping me when I am not here with my pets. I am very proud of him and how he is handling my affairs for me.

Now…..

My oldest son’s birthday is Friday, and as he turns 30- a moment of emotions floods my mind. Wow! Thirty years ago, a single, unsure, scared mother to be was getting ready to have a baby boy. I will never forget the morning; I had a doctor’s appointment. I went in to the usual office visit when you are 8 months along and to my great surprise my doctor stated…oh my we are dilated and if you would like I will meet you at the hospital by noon, and we can get this boy on his way.

I was excited and scared at the same time. I worked at E. F. Hutton and a friend of my Sandy was going to help me deliver. Well let’s say that she needed this as much as I did because she was married without children. This was her attempt to check it all out and we just became great friends at work and church. We would laughed all the time at work, to the point of tears running down our cheeks, so she was a great candidate for helping me birth with laughter.

I placed my phone calls after the doctor’s visit to Sandy, mom and met mom at my grandmothers to then go to the hospital. I thought that it would be good to have other support.

I started thinking about the baby shower that I was to have with E. F. Hutton that night and I would be missing….funny the little things you remember as you jot down memories. I had never had a shower and was looking forward to it.

Upon arriving at the hospital, seeing Sandy smiling as I walked in and we waited to get into a room. A room of several beds-like in a recovery room…not a single room that you stay in.
I remember we laughed telling stories or looking at magazines until my first real pain. I remember looking at her (Sandy) and stated, “Oh my that wasn’t very fun”….but through the laughing- I got through it and it was two other pains… and Sean was born! GREAT delivery into this world as I only had 45 minutes of labor.

I look at Sean now and he is a wonderful son, father, and husband, and I am so proud of him. Not sure how much of an influence I had on him other.\, than I made a choice to have him, loved him, and taught him about the Lord. I would have never had it another way. As he has brought me such joy, just being his mom.

So as I reflect on the delivery…knowing that his birthday isn’t till Friday, I have to say Happy Birthday Sean. You changed me into the woman, and mom that I have become over the years. Thank you for being a great son, father and husband to not only me but to your family. I could never express to you how very proud I am of you!

I HAVE the best boys and I know that they are going to do great things over the next year and years to come.

I love you both!

MOM

Valentine's Day!

Valentine's Day's....I just love Valentine's and the thought of romance, love, and being with someone that enjoy's spending time with you delights my soul! And someday I will have it all with breakfast in bed, Belgium Waffles, Whip Cream and yes, Strawberries!

I love and have always love the thought of romance and being in love with someone that just takes your breath away! The fun of planning something so special that even they can't believe it. OKAY...I am a romantic and I plan to be for the rest of my life here on earth. BUT that is okay! Someday I will be with the one that I love on all the holiday's and it will be a dream come true. To share the best parts about you on special days. Even if it is just breakfast in bed with some fun of whip cream and strawberries!

So TODAY...give to the one you love if they are close or if not send them a message with kisses and hugs....and always remember the LOVE!

Unconditional/Selfless Questions

How many of us can say that we are truly unconditional or selfless? I have thought this over the last months and have wondered about myself, which if I would defined selfless: having no concern for self: unselfish: not selfish-Generous. Okay, two definitions here but you are getting the point by now. As for the definition of unconditional: not conditional or limited; absolute, unqualified. (unconditional surrender or unconditional love)

I am bothered, as I would say that I am selfless in doing things not having expectations or wanting for myself yet, that would be a lie, as I am truly not a selfless person. I desire to be and would like to be, but I do have hopes and desires and dreams that I believe are real and what I would like. I feel that I do selfless acts of kindness, poured out of my love and heart, yet when there is not acknowledgment then that is not a selfless motive on my part is it? I am having trouble with this one so bare with me. I must mention here that I know what it like not to have, to give up stuff, and do without or say survive...to have things taken away and deal with it. I know! So that isn't the issue here...been there done that and doing it! I am struggling this morning and maybe it is all emotions and should be ignored however just let me finish!

I desire to be unconditional yet in my flesh, I truly can't can I? Maybe that is the real issue here is there is my flesh that we are talking about and my mind wants to, my spirit wants to, but my flesh rises up and does not truly want to. Is that so? I feel as if I am struggling with this -this morning and need some wisdom here on this. So for those of you that are selfless, and unconditional let me know your wisdom, knowledge and give me the understanding that I am seeking on this.

I want to do what is right and live right and I know that I have needs, wants and desires. At 52 you realize that life is short and you can't afford to make mistakes or not live for the moments. It is what it is? Thanks for listening!